Written by Evan B. 08/21/2022
Image from Flickr
Let’s cut to the chase, I am incredibly attractive. Not in the conventional sense, but where I fall short in appearance and personality, I more than make up for it in taste in anime. So how is it that I, for lack of a better word, am extremely lonely?
When I asked the question to the one woman I do know, my mother, she told me to "get a job" and "kicked me out of the house." Having my question left unanswered, I decided to go do my own investigating!
I set up an experiment to see how many chicks I could pull with my feminist personality. How? Desperate times call for desperate measures, so I made a Tinder account. Many years ago, I made a solemn vow to never do such a thing, but that was during my "Confucianist phase."
Here is my profile (Partial credit to Public Domain Pictures)
How did it go? Well despite an incredibly well-made profile, I received a very limited number of matches from the ladies, and most of those people who I did match with left me on read.
I offered to go on a date hiking under the night sky with one of my matches, but I was rejected! How could someone reject such a romantic offer?
Hiking, an ideal first date (image from PxHere)
Turns out it the reason for my struggles was because Tinder uses the most unreliable algorithm possible: women. That's right, women have to choose who they want to match with too, which is absurd!
Even after spending my college funds on Tinder Premium, I still fell short of capturing the people's attention. My matches actually plummeted for a small while, which may have been due to me accidentally uploading photos of my stash of stolen mufflers to my profile.
Fortunately, I have alternatives: other sites and apps that are better suited for finding a romantic partner.
A potential (and far better) application for dating (image from Flickr)
I had a rough journey, and although it may be disheartening to see someone as attractive as I get no b****es, I can promise you that there is still hope for you. Never lose hope, your lover is out there! In fact, I could even be your lover. Haha, jk...unless?
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