Written by Evan B. 09/21/2022
Image from Stockvault
Medical Surgery is a complex topic, yet one that constantly finds its way into our lives. In fact, I'm actually writing this article in an MRI machine right now! So, it is incredibly unfortunate that, more often than not, we tend to hold onto false information about the topic. Here are 6 facts we here at my studio apartment have found to correct common misconceptions about surgery.
1. Anesthesia is a placebo.
Most people believe anesthetics works because of chemical compounds in the drug interrupting the nervous system's behavior and its response to external stimuli, this is false. It actually works because people think it puts you to sleep, so it does. Mind over matter, you know?
2. You do not have to stop for an Ambulance.
On the street you often find people being annoying and stopping anytime they hear a siren. This is actually not required, as by law you have many options when an ambulance approaches. My personal choice is to try off the road into a telephone pole (if possible).
Wee oo wee oo wee oo (image from Public Domain Pictures)
3. Brain Surgery is not the most difficult task a surgeon does; they also have to talk to women.
Brain surgery seems like a very difficult task, with many moving parts and complicated tasks needed to make sure no long-term effects arise from it. And while it may seem difficult to people like us, surgeons have acquired enough skill where it is not the most difficult part of their job. Unfortunately for those surgeons, they will inevitably have an encounter with women and will be forced to speak with them. Most surgeons find this to be too much and is the most common reason for surgeon resignation.
4. Doctors are not legally required to put your organs back.
After surgery everyone assumes their insides will be put back in all normal and such. This is not true, before going under you usually sign a waiver to allow doctors to do whatever they want with your organs. Although most of the time the doctor will play a couple rounds of catch before putting them back, sometimes they take them home as a souvenir. That's what happened to my liver and right kidney.
They never gave me my organ back...
(Image credit to Wikimedia Commons)
5. Surgeons have not received formal training and education.
Surprisingly, most surgeons have not received any sort of training before their job. This isn't really necessary as most tasks they perform usually only need an inordinate amount of knowledge, and an incredible level of fine motor control for periods of over 12 hours at a time.
6. Sugery isn't real, they use actors and force you to sign an NDA.
Anyone who's undergone surgery knows this to be true, but the reason you don't hear about it is because of the non-disclosure agreement. The patients are traded out for paid actors who pretend to have their bodies opened up and sealed alive (movie magic). The patients themselves are taken to the back and beaten behind a dumpster.
Thank you for reading these facts and making sure you grow ever more aware about the world of surgery! I would say more but I am being chased by several lawyers for violating the NDA, and don't forget to thank God when your surgeons, doctors, and nurses keep your loved ones alive.
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