Written by Evan B. 07/04/2022
Image credit to pxhere
There is no other way to spend the 4th of July than with your family having a barbeque and watching the fireworks. Or is there? Here are 10 steps for you to follow to enhance the holiday experience and make this the best 4th of July ever. Perchance.
1. Order your family some fast food
Image credit to Flickr
Forgo the unnecessary frivolous barbeque and order some McDonald's or Carl's Jr. It is good for the soul, and I can promise you your family will appreciate it so much more than a fresh, home-cooked meal.
2. Recognize Puerto Rico as the 51st state
Image credit to Wikimedia commons
Puerto Rico is a United States territory that is not necessarily considered to be a part of the country. But why not? In the expansive American Spirit, you should consider Puerto Rico another star in the US flag (they deserve the spot more than Rhode Island anyway).
3. Bring home a bald eagle
Image credit to SOAR
There is nothing that a family loves more than pets, especially adorable fluffy ones like the bald eagle, an apex predator able to spot its prey from miles away along the floor. And make sure to hire a trainer too, unless you think you have what it takes to train one on your own! Just kidding, don't do that.
4. Let your cousin Jerry know what for
Your cousin Jerry (left) and you (right), image credit to StockSnap.io
Let's be real, Jerry knew this was coming.
5. Design some new United States flags with the kids
Image credit to Flickr
Arts and crafts are a great way to take your mind off of [relevant political events]. Gather your offspring and together think of new, innovative ways to recreate our flag. Here are a few examples we've created:
6. Have civil discussion about politics
Image credit to Nara
Talk with your family about your opinion on certain topics. Not everyone will agree, but what matters is that you all understand that everyone's words are important. You will never know what you might learn from each other.
7. After that discussion inevitably escalates, pack your things and leave for home
Image credit to Wikimedia commons
God damn Uncle Herbert was a ***** anyway, same for his two kids. He doesn't know **** about how it is living in this ******** country nowadays, the ******!
8. Explain to your Native American friend how lucky we are to live in America
Image credit to Flickr
Let them know how grateful we are to have declared independence from our British oppressors all those years ago, and how, as a country built on ideas of freedom, we give so much to other people. I've gotten beat doing this before.
9. Strut around in large powdery wigs, in honor of the founding fathers
Image credit to Jenikirbyhistory
It's just stylish, let everyone know how much you appreciate the men who made it all possible!
10. Go to your local soup kitchen and volunteer
Image credit to Flickr
It kills time, and really lets you gets your mind off of things. You can talk to new people or bring family and friends and have a great time hanging out with them. Know that even when this country feels like it does so much bad, you can be a part of what makes it better.
Additional image credits to United States Flag Store and Free SVG
Inspiration from here
Comments